A Dynamite Joke

(My last post got me all riled up…. It’s password protected, so you can’t really read it… But it’s long, angry and poorly-written, so don’t worry about it.  But I thought I’d post a good joke to displace the anger.  Enjoy and have a great weekend)

 

Captain Jim was a very successful Pirate in the Atlantic. He took so many Spanish ships that the king ordered a bounty of 1000 Gold Doubloons to the crew that brought him in to face trial.

One day, Captain Jim was sitting in his cabin eating his dinner. He had just taken a drink when his first mate knocked on the door and entered, saying “Captain Jim, there be a Spanish Galleon off the port bow. They’re flying the Pirate hunter’s flag.” Captain Jim slowly put down his mug and replied “Fetch me red shirt.” The Pirates went into battle and fought off the other ship.

Later, the first mate went to the captain and asked why he wanted his red shirt. The captain told him “Well you see, I know my men care about me. If they saw I was wounded in battle, they would do everything they could to help me and we could lose as a result. I want my men safe, even if I die. So I wear me red shirt into battle so that if I’m wounded, the men won’t see me bleed and they’ll keep fighting.” The first mate was awed by the captain’s words and spread word to the rest of the crew.

A few week later, Captain Jim was sitting in his cabin eating his dinner. He had just taken a drink when his first mate knocked on the door and entered, saying “Captain Jim, there be 3 Spanish Galleons off the port bow. They’re flying the Pirate hunter’s flag.” Captain Jim slowly put down his mug and replied “Fetch me red shirt.” The Pirates won the battle and the crew spent the whole evening singing the praises of Captain Jim, the pirate who cares more about his crew than himself.

About a month later, Captain Jim was sitting in his cabin eating his dinner. He had just taken a drink when his first mate pounded on the door and entered, yelling “Captain Jim, there be 12 Spanish Galleon off the port bow. They’re all flying the Pirate hunter’s flag.” Captain Jim slowly put down his mug and replied “Fetch me brown pants!”

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