Short Fuse: Let’s Talk about Crazy

In order to balance the demands of my voracious readership (three close friends, a few insomniacs who run out of good websites, and a couple dozen pity clicks from Facebook) I have decided to introduce the short fuse posts. These will be quick, easy to read posts about whatever subject happens to be on my mind.

Today, the subject of crazy is on my mind…. Not a colloquial crazy, like “Dude, that concert was crazy” but the literal meaning, as in “that guy is crazy, he stabbed ten people with an Allen wrench.” Now to qualify, I’m not talking about people with serious special needs. People who have ailments like schizophrenia or serious personality disorders are not responsible and they deserve quality care and patience. I’m talking about functional people who for whatever reason, have tuned their dials to a non-broadcasting station.

We all know crazy people. We work with them, we ride the bus with them and there’s usually one in our family. The common thing is that WE sane people are always left to clean up and handle their insanity. Here’s my question….. Why are we mentally capable people expected to change our behavior to accommodate? For example, if a co-worker suddenly decides that you are part of a massive government conspiracy to ply them with Rohypnol to knock them out and harvest their organs for sale to support a secret lab in Antarctica where they experiment to create super-intelligent tree frogs, it may be prudent and expected that you avoid them as much as possible. However, what is the response if they start demanding you stop making coffee because they KNOW you can’t wait to get your dirty, frog-tainted hands on their spleen?

They are plotting our demise at this very moment.

All too often, we simple give in and accept their demands. I always hear “You are the sane one, you should make the effort.” But my question is: Why? Why on Earth should the normal person defer to the crazy? It’s as if our entire society has given a collective shrug and said “We got nothing.”

I have been trying for months to come up with solutions to this problem…. But so far, I haven’t really latched onto the perfect solution.  For a while I considered convening a special court to adjudicate crazies into their own state, but this has problems. You would want to pick somewhere sparsely populated, preferably with high crazy content already, but I wouldn’t want to displace innocent people in New Jersey, or innocent sheep in Montana. Next I considered a “get out of crazy free card” but the logistics of that bogged me down to no end.

So I put it out to the readers: Anybody have a brilliant idea on how to fix this issue? I offer, in compensation, my undying gratitude and a free homemade lunch to whomever supplies the answer. You brew the coffee.

And a last warning to my friends and readers: No matter how tempting it may be, do not attempt to argue with crazy people. In the end, you’ll be tired, frustrated and angry, but they will still be Napoleon.

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